Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
