I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
