I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We left the knife in your bed.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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