So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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