The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
