That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
