I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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