i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
