I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
