i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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