Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
