so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
