If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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