i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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