So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
