i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
