Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
