Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
