We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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