yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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