watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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