awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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