Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
