Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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