As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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