It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
