I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
