drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
