You can't special order awesome
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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