Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
