If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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