i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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