She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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