So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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