margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
