No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
