well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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