Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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