so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
