Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
