you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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