dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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