Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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