She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
