The maid of honor just puked.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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