Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
