i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Randomize
