I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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