Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
