she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
