i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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