If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
