Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
