Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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